ohhhhh.....my aching back!

My back started to cause me a lot of pain last weekend and was really bad on Monday after I square danced Sunday afternoon. I had information for a free Chiropractor appointment so I decided to use it. They ended up taking x-rays. I went back in the next day and the doctor scared me a little when he showed me my x-rays. I am no expert and I don't begin to know how to read x-rays but even I could tell there was something wrong when he put them up. Long story short my lower back is crooked which causes stress on my whole spine and causes my neck to over compensate for it. This is why my lower back hurts and why the back of my neck hurts a lot. I also have some degeneration between some of my vertebrae. The Dr. assures me though that this can be corrected. So, I started my treatment immediately. A combination of three things. First, I lay on this bed and it massages my spine. This feels really good! Next they hook this machine with electrodes to my lower back and neck in the muscle on either side of my spine. It sort of vibrates and is suppose to relax the muscle. With that one I lay on my stomach. After that while I am still on my stomach the dr comes and does the adjustment. He uses this funky tool thing to line up my spine. I am a little sore after my treatments but I am noticing a big improvement. So today I set up a payment plan so that I can continue with me treatments. I know this is going to be expensive but I look at it this way. I am only 32 and my spine is very important to me....i sort of need it to be able to move.

Daily Drama!

The last couple of weeks have been busy . Got into a car accident, which I will dedicate a whole blog to about how pissed I am at the city for not salting streets. Had my holiday party at work which was fun and Santa brought me a Christmas bonus. Have I said before how much I love my job. I have been trying to take a little more me time as I have been a bit more stressed out lately with Christmas right around the corner. Finances just aren't there this year. I am really looking forward to going home for Christmas though. The last couple of Christmas' I spent with C, which were enjoyable, so this will be the first in a few years with my family. I haven't seen a lot of my family this year so it will be nice to see them for a few days. I went and saw Were The World Mine Saturday. I love it and plan on talking more about it soon. So much to do and so little time. I am alive and I will be back soon.

Schudules and lists

I have been doing much better the last few days. Lisa and I sat down yesterday and made lists of things we needed to do to improve our lives. It was good to sit down and reflect on my life and think about things I want to change. I have a nice list that I am already starting to work on. I also worked on a budget, an evening schedule and chore list. And speaking of schedule my timer is about to go off to tell me my 30 min. computer time is done. On to cleaning the bathroom now. More on all my lists and schedules later.

Tough times

Things have been very tough for me lately. And i will explain all in time, but give me time as i am still trying to process everything. I think I have been very depressed, so I will apologize right now to all my friends and loyal readers for being distant and not blogging much.

As most of you know by now things ended with Misty. All of it seemed to be out of my control. Things were going great, so it seemed, and then all of a sudden she shut me out. Well it seems she had some very bad news and was going to need to have surgery. When she finally opened up to me about it I was as loving as a gf could be. I said it didn't matter and it didn't have to change anything between us. I loved her and would be there for her in whatever way she needed me to be. She didn't want me to come be with her and continued to push me away. What could I do? She is very depressed and hurting and all i want to do is be with her but she doesn't want that. She finally said she loved me but couldn't be with me now. Again dumped! Now I just shake my head. I can't believe this is all happening. Misty sort of just popped back into my life suddenly after C. I knew I wasn't ready to get into a serious relationship again but it was Misty and I had always cared for her. My friends warned me about continuing to date when she moved but I figured it would be okay. What i didn't count on was missing her so much and falling in love with her as quickly as I did. So now here I am with my heart broken again. It brings up so much current and past pain. This has been a difficult Thanksgiving week. See I was suppose to be in Texas with Misty and instead I was here and jr was with his dad. Things just got worse when i accidentally found out the ex was taking her now gf back home with her. That definitely stirred up a bunch of hurt and anger that I didn't know was there. But i have to say thanks to Lisa, I did end up having a good thanksgiving. She invited me to her house and I had a great time with her and her family. I know this has just been a bunch of rambling on but hey it is my blog so i can do it if i want. Later!

SICK

I have been sick, sick, sick! I seem to be able to manage to get out of bed, go to work, come home and go to bed. It has been a month now that i have been sick. I have filled my body with so much medicine and antibiotics. I don't understand how i could possibly still be sick!

I will still blog

Don't worry Connie. I am not going to stop blogging. In fact maybe i will blog more. Get my feelings out in my blog instead of sharing them with other people. That has got me no where.

I will just shut up!

I think I will just keep my mouth shut from now on. Really, it doesn't fucking matter anyway. Nothing that comes out of my mouth seems to make a difference anyway!

What to blog about?

I was sitting here trying to figure out what to blog about since i haven't blogged in over a week. I couldn't think of anything. I am so tired of talking about Misty and Caitlin that I just can't be bothered with talking about them anymore. There is just no point in wasting energy talking about people that don't care about me. Lisa suggested I talk about the new things I got for my apartment. I got this really nice entertainment center at brown elephant and i got some lamps and tables from lisa. It will all look really nice when i have enough motivation to actually set up my apartment. Yes, i am still living out of boxes and it stresses me out, yet i can't seem to do anything about it. Am i depressed or just unmotivated about life right now? Either way i wish I could snap out of it. The only things I seem to enjoy are work and hanging out with Lisa.

The Secret Life of Bees

On Wednesday Lisa, Jr. and I went to go see The Secret Life of Bees. I was so excited when i heard it was coming out. I read the book and absolutely loved it. I was really hoping that the movie would be just as touching and good as the book was. I was not disappointed. I really enjoyed the movie. I had heard that some were skeptical of the movie because it starred Queen Latifa and Alicia Keys. I thought they played there parts well. Especially Alicia Keys. She did a great job playing June. The only criticism I might have about the movie is I thought it should have had more about the bees in it. In the book there is a lot more working and referencing to bees. I think as a whole the message and touching parts of the book were definitely carried out in the movie. Lisa had never read the book but she liked the movie and seemed to be very touched by parts of it. As you can tell I am not the best critic but I would recommend the movie and definitely if you haven't read the book you should read it.

Broken heart!

It has been a busy week and I have a lot of shit going on. Yep. that is my excuse for not blogging. Work has been busy since the boss has been gone all week. My house is still unorganized and so is the rest of my life right now. Haven't talked to Misty all week so that can't be good. She said she is going through a lot. I don't think that is a good excuse to ignore your girlfriend. So, this has me all in doubt that this is going to work. It seemed things were fine and then all of a sudden she shuts me out. It has me shaking my head. I can't believe yet again I invested my time and love into a relationship and now it looks to be ending. My heart is fragile...doesn't anyone get that!!! I got into this relationship because she said she loved me and has for a while and that she wants to have a future with me. Wow, doesn't that sound nice. Someone sweet and nice who actually "wants" to be with me. I cared for her so i said yes. I put my heart out there and started to fall for her. Look at me now. Now I'm left to pick up the pieces of my own broken heart yet again!

Wii anyone?

Saturday night I went over to Charles' to hang out with him, Hugo and Joe. We had a great time playing wii, drinking wine and eating yummy food. I was a bit nervous hanging out with them since I always hung out with them and Caitlin together but once I was there everything was good. I had a good time with them and didn't find myself thinking about C. There of course was lots of lesbian jokes and lots of laughing. We played this one wii game that was a mixture of keeping the beat and dancing. It was a workout and my arms are even a bit sore today from playing it. I wish I could remember the name. I am definitely going to have to buy it. Jr. will love it. Thanks Ch, hugo and joe for saturday night fun!!!

Last night I went with Lisa to go see Girlyman. For those of you who know me you know I am crazy about Girlyman and I have been looking forward to going to see them for awhile. I have to say I had a good time but was a bit disappointed in their song selections. Plus they didn't seem to have the same excitement in their music as they usually do. I also am not quite sure how I feel about some of their new songs. One was very cheezy. I forgot to tell Lisa to wear comfortable shoes so she was a bit miserable standing for that long. She was such a trooper. She had never even heard of Girlyman and still agreed to go out with me to their concert. She says she liked them and she thought they were funny. Thanks for being a good "cheap date" Lisa.

till tomorrow

I had a really good weekend. Got to hang out with friends Saturday night and went to see Girlyman tonight. I have a lot to talk about but right now I am exhausted and going to bed. You will have to wait till tomorrow to hear about my weekend.

More on food

Misty and I were having a conversation about food earlier today. I was telling her about all the different ethnic food I love. She was saying how she has never had Indian and some of my other favorites before. She then asked me how I felt about Soul Food. It kind of threw me for a sec. I guess I never thought about Soul Food as an ethnic food. So, she started asking me if I liked food like; greens, corned beef and cabbage, sweet potatoes, sweet potato pie, etc. Of course no mac and cheese for me. And yes Misty is a cheese lover so she is of course disappointed about my no cheese eating self. I told her how I do like most of them and that I really haven't had a lot of Soul Food. Only at holidays or special occasions when I was around my ex-husbands family. I will get my chance next month. The plan is for me to go to Texas at Thanksgiving. Not only will I be in a state I have never been to I will also be around all of her family. I do look forward to trying new food. I always loved when my ex-mother-in-law came for the holidays and took over my kitchen. The food was always good so I am sure this will be too. Plus different is good! My family has such the typical boring thanksgiving dinner. I am definitely ready to tune things up a bit with some "SOUL!"

Indian Food

I've been told to blog more about food. I guess it is a bit more interesting than the rest of my life now and plus I get comments when I blog about food. This one is for you connie.

Last night Lisa and I went to an Indian restaurant for dinner. I have been craving Indian for a long time and it has been months since I had any. Lisa and I went to Sher-A-Punjab on Devon. It is a little restaurant amongst all the other indian restaurants on Devon. I was so pleased that we found parking only a block away and really quick. Sher-A-Punjab has a small buffet of your basic indian dishes. I was a bit disappointed that didn't have Aloo Gobi or Chana Masala but the butter chicken was real good. They also brought fresh naan and tandori chicken right out to the table. I enjoyed most of the food and the variety was good for the price. Only $9. I washed it down with my favorite mango shake. This was probably the best mango shake i have had so far. I was pretty pleased with the food but I did go away missing the chats, dosas, and other snacky indian foods I am used to.

BACON!!!

I did something tonight that I haven't done in years......I fried BACON!!! I realize some people are going to find the humor in that and others are going to be confused. Believe me it has been years since I have cooked bacon. The ex husband was against pork so we had none in the house. And as most of you know bacon was a deal breaker with C. It is not like I crave bacon on a regular basis or anything. It was never hard to not eat bacon around C....well except for that one time at the bed and breakfast in St. Louis. If I wanted bacon I would just have it when I went out if she wasn't around but I never cooked it. For some reason last week I bought bacon. Still having some hard times dealing with life today and I felt like bacon. So, I had it and it was good...but my house does stink like bacon now.....wah, wah.

Happy Monday

Today was a pretty good day for a Monday. Usually, I hate Mondays because we are so busy at work. I don't mind the paper work but usually I mess up at some point in time when my boss wasn't there at the end of last week and I hear about it on Monday. I must be getting lots better because I didn't get that today. I really do enjoy my job but after an emotional weekend I was dreading work this morning. I am glad it went well.

I went grocery shopping after work and then came home and cooked dinner while jr. did his homework. I just got done taking a shower and I think I am going to go crawl under my warm covers and read a book as soon as I get done blogging. No more unpacking tonight. Kat is coming over tomorrow to help me put Jr's loft together and my cabinet. I am already looking forward to the weekend. Jr. will be at his dads and I can go out and have some fun. Also, the Girlyman concert is this Sunday. I still have 1 extra ticket if anyone wants to go.

Moved!!!

I am officially moved now. YEAH! I really like my new place. Thank you to all my friends and family who helped me. I couldn't have done it without them. So now I am in the process of unpacking. This I hate. I think the worse part is the whole being unorganized. I have come to hate caos or a messy house and right now that is what I have. It stresses me out! I know it is only temporary until I get everything out of boxes and where it belongs.

I don't know if it is the move or what but the last few days have been emotional for me. And those who know me know I tend to not be very emotional. Today I got into a fight with a good friend over text and then I had a 3 hour conversation with the girlfriend about how unhappy I am with things right now. Why do things have to be so difficult??? I mean my day did not even start out well. I had a dream about the ex that set my emotions off first thing this morning. I was fucking crying in the shower. WOW, that is so not me. I am trying so hard to move on with my life and to try to get C off my mind but I keep having these strange encounters with her and even stranger dreams. I want to be at a place where I can have her in my life and not have all these mixed up emotions toward her.

Well, tomorrow is a new day and maybe i can fucking keep myself from crying tomorrow and get some unpacking done.

2 days left

I am moving on Wednesday and so far I have my kitchen, bathroom and front room all packed up. Jr is working on his bedroom and I am working on mine. There is still more to pack but I feel like I got a lot accomplished over the weekend. Thanks to Kat and Lisa for coming to help me pack yesterday. My parents and older sister are coming into town tomorrow evening. So with their help I am sure we can get everything else packed up before Wednesday morning.

I am definitely having mixed emotions about moving. I am excited about moving somewhere new but also sad to leave behind the memories that are here. Some I can do with out but I have lived here for 5 years and Jr has done a lot of growing up here. It will be strange being in a new place. But I am excited about my new place and the future. Things seem to be looking up in my life and this new place is just 1 step closer to my future happiness.

I hate packing!

I hate packing!!! If anyone is bored this weekend and feels like helping a friend out, wow could i use the help. Packing and unpacking is by far the worst part of moving for me. I hate it. The actual moving of boxes and packing up the moving truck is easy, that is the part I don't mind. Well, back to packing. yuck!

Michelle Tea!

I decided to go see Michelle Tea afterall tonight. I am so glad I did. I had a great time. In the past couple of years I have been reading a lot more and I have loved being introduced to new books and different genres. I owe this mostly to Caitlin. One of her many influences in my life. Of course lesbian books are of paticular interest to me but I have enjoyed reading a lot of other books too. I have always wanted to go to an author reading at Women and Children First but for some reason never have. I am a bit surprised that Caitlin and I never went when we were together. So, when a friend of my mentioned to me a few weeks ago we should go to a reading together I checked into it and found out Michelle Tea was going to be a guest speaker. I knew her, I read one of her books. I knew I would love to meet an author of a book I had read. So, my friend Neddy and I went and both enjoyed it Michelle Tea was great and I can't wait till the book she is writing comes out. Kristy C. Road was also an author who read tonight. I had never heard of her but she seems interesting so I might check out some of her books too. I am going to have to check out more readings in the future. I already know I am going to go see Alison Bechdel in November.

packing

I really wanted to go see Michelle Tea tonight at Women and Children First but I am feeling so unmotivated to do anything right now. I have the whole weekend to myself and have SO much packing to do that I have to cross all social activities off. I can't believe I am moving in 5 days. I have so much shit to pack. So, I will be spending my free weekend packing while everyone else in Chi-town is having fun!

Stressing

My current landlord calls me on Sunday to let me know he is going back on what he said and now I have to be out on the 1st. Isn't that nice! The apartment that I am moving into is still occupied. The guys who live there now are moving out this weekend so my new landlord said I could move in on the first. So, now I am taking the 1st off from work and moving. It really sucks because I had people to help me move on the weekend and I have few possibilities for during the week. I have barely started packing so I know what I will be doing this weekend while jr. is at his dads. Needless to say I am stressed out. It seems all the stressful things in life hit you all at once. Moving, finances, relationships all very stressful right now.

Fucking Hilarious!!!

Last night Lisa and I went to see Suzanne Westenhoefer. She was fucking hilarious. I loved her. I really can't wait to see her again. We had such a great time. I laughed my ass off most of the time. Afterward, Lisa and I went to dinner at Uncle Julios Hacienda. She had never been there and I love it but haven't been there for over a year. It was still just as good as ever.

Friday Night Fun!!!

A while ago a couple of my friends invited me to go to the chix mix in September. As yesterday rolled around I was not feeling the best but not being the type of person to cancel i went out. I am so glad I did. I had the best time I have had in I don't know how long. I was a bit nervous going to the chix mix with out a gf since that is what I had done mostly in the past but I knew I would have a good time dancing with my friends and we all know I am not shy (especially after a few drinks). We got there early so we had time to drink before the dancing even started. Once more people got there one of my friends and I decided to dance. We were the first ones out on the dance floor so we got our picture taken several times. As the night went on the dancing got even more fun and got a lot closer. On one of our smoke breaks i was introduced to one of the owners of chix mix. She was super sweet and funny to talk too. She made my night later in the evening when she pushed me against the steel cage.....we'll leave the rest of the details out! I had the best time dancing and I also scored free tickets to go see Suzanne Westenhoefer tonight. I have always wanted to see her.
It was a fun and crazy night and now I need to hop in the shower and go out to get my car which is still somewhere in boystown.

Long distance.....it really SUCKS!!!

As most of you know Misty and I are doing the long distance thing. Wow, is it ever hard! I have done the long distance thing before for a couple of months but this is much harder. It has been harder for one because we have had such difficulty talking on the phone since her cell phone sucks and US cellular doesn't have coverage in TX. That will change next week as she will have t-mobile so we will be able to talk. I love talking to her and that will makes things easier.

This morning I have been pretty lonely. I just want to be close to her, to hold her. I miss that. I guess maybe that is the worst part. I never thought of myself as much of a physical person until the past few years but I definitely am. I love the closeness, the cuddling, the holding of hands...etc. This is something I need and it is hard to not have it. I just keep telling myself it is temporary. She will be back before I know it and we can have all that. I have realized this week that I think Misty is the one I want to have a future with. We were talking earlier about Jr and her daughter and how things would be when they were teenagers. Looking into the future like this makes me so happy. It makes me happy knowing i love someone and she loves me back and wants to be in my future and I in hers. So, getting through the next few months is going to be extremely tough but I feel the future seems very bright after that.

I got it!!!

In my last blog I was all happy about this wonderful apartment that I loved and wanted to have. I started to get so dissappointed the next day when I hadn't heard from them. Then I read a nice comment by Caitlin and it gave me encouragement that if I don't get that place there will be something better. So Ion Wednesday I kept my appointment to go see this apartment close to Jr's school. I went there and I absolutely loved it. It is bigger and I think a much better fit for us than the one I loved the day before. So, I filled out the application and was waiting to hear. Well, I just received an email saying I got it. I am so excited. I finally have a place to move too. So, now it is all about trying to come up with the rather large security deposit and rent all with in the next few weeks. Then there is all the packing. Wow, it is nice to finally have a place but now the real stress starts.

Perfect apartment

I have found the perfect apartment. I love it. It is a short distance from work, in a great area and affordable. I just know this is the perfect place for Jr. and I. Unfortunately, others are interested too. The owner will make a decision in the next couple days and let me know. I am hoping and praying I get it.

relationship ?'s

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH'S WILL CONTAIN LOTS OF RANDOM THOUGHTS AND RAMBLING ON ABOUT THINGS IN MY HEAD!

Friday night I went over to Caitlin's apt. I had asked her to do some mending and hemming a little while back and our schedules finally aligned. I was a bit nervous going over there but felt much comfortable once there. I dropped my stuff off and then let Caitlin finish her dinner and I came back in about an hour. When I got back I tried to read but soon realized that wasn't going to happen. She was listening to music and it seemed like she wanted to talk. So, we started talking. We talked about work, family, friends etc. Just catching up on each others lives i guess. She asked me about Misty and I told her a little but I did not ask about her and Lisa. Although she did volunteer things about her from time to time. Overall, the conversation was good and I realized I really have missed talking with her.

So, when I left there I felt good. Felt good about moving on with my life. So, why is it after having a dream that night and having a bad weekend things have changed? Some of my friends think I am crazy for being with Misty. They think I am still hung up on Caitlin. They are not wrong about that. I admit it. I do still love Caitlin. How is one suppose to stop loving someone they were with for almost 2 years after just 2 months. Well, I guess some people can. It seems that Caitlin is completely over me. She has moved on and seems to be happy. Yeah, that is hard to come to grips with because I still do love her. But I keep telling myself that it is okay. I know that Caitlin and I breaking up was a good thing. We wanted different things and I was way more serious about her than she was about me. And yes, I have moved on too. I do love Misty and I can definitely see me having a future with her. Whenever I looked into the future with Caitlin it was always a bunch of ???'s, but when I look at the future I could have with Misty I see us being together and having the family we both want. So, is it possible to have a new love in your life but still love someone else too?

I am by far not a relationship expert. I have had 2 serious relationships that both crashed and burned. But I do have to say that I did love both of them very much. I look at things with my ex-husband. After two years being apart we actually have a pretty good friendship. I also can say that a part of me still loves him very much. I think I always will love him, but that does not mean I want to be with him. I know things with us would NEVER work out. One, I like women and don't see myself ever being with a man and of course other things too. I also remember it was a bit hard on me and him when we both started seeing other people. His reaction the first time he met Caitlin was not good. So, I think it is understandable that even though i know Caitlin and I not being together is a good thing I still don't have to be happy about her being happy with someone else. I think in time I will be okay with it but I have to tell myself it is okay if I am not now. I guess I am trying to tell myself that it is natural for me to have all these random thoughts about my ex even though I am in a new relationship now. I need some feedback. Someone tell me I am not crazy here. Someone tell me it is perfectly natural to love more than one person at once as long as I only want to be with one of them.

Stresses

So much has happened in the past week I am not even sure where to start. I have been stressed out to say the least.

Last week my sister was here which was very nice but also kept me very busy in the evenings. We had some good times and for the most part I think she enjoyed her visit.

Things were also crazy busy at work last week and my boss was out due to surgery. I have been there only a little over 2 months but found myself being put in charge by my boss. I appreciated the confidence she had in me and i took on my new responsibility and got the work done. I am one that remains very calm under extreme stress and craziness. My boss will be out most of this week too so the craziness continues. I felt very appreciated today when I got a nice card and money from my boss for doing a good job. I do love my job.

Also last week Misty the new girlfriend moved to Texas. We had only reconnected for a short while but i try to remember that she is only going to be gone for a short amount of time. We are using this time to get to know each other even more. Time will tell how it all will play out but for now it is nice to be in the pink room again.

I still need to blog about my bbq yesterday but i am too tired to do it now so it is off to talk to Misty and head to bed.

Smoothies....YUMMY!!!

What a day it has been. Today was super crazy at work. By far the most busiest day. I think I am handling being in charge of the office, while my boss is recovering, pretty well. After work my sister met me and we then went to Alamo shoes so she could get a nice pair of gym shoes. She found a really nice pair that she liked and then it was off to pick up Jr. from camp and then head to Chinatown. We had decided we would go to Chinatown for dinner and then look around. We ate at Joy Yee Noodle. It was really good. I had been there before so decided to try it again. My sister had the Mango Chicken Fried Rice and Jr and I shared the Shrimp Lo Mein. We of course had smoothies. I had a Strawberry Pinapple with tapioca which Jr. drank most of. That is what I get for sharing with a 7 year old. It was all really good and i have leftovers for tomorrow's lunch.

Yesterday's bbq went well. My friends and their kids all seemed to have a good time. My new girl (which I will give her a name soon) wasn't able to make it because she hurt her back packing for her big move. It was lots of fun and something I should do more often. Well, I am exhausted. You know that is the case when I have run out of things to say!

I Kissed A Girl and I liked It!!!

she didn't taste like cherry chapstick

the date went great. (details later)

I just got back into town with my son and my sister and I am off to a business meeting and then off to Kat and Kim's for games and wine. Having a bbq tomorrow with some friends and my new girl and all their kids. Busy weekend!

Staying busy

Things have been really crazy at work this week. The executive director has been out of the office and will be for the next couple of weeks. So that leaves Neddy and I running things. With new enrollments and the school year starting next week it is crazy busy.

It has been nice to go home after work and just chill for awhile. I am feeling very accomplished this week. I have spent some quality time with myself this week. I am feeling so good about things in my life right now. Looking forward to my son coming back, moving and the future. And I have a date tonight!

I also bought my Girlyman tickets today. I was so excited to hear that they would be playing at Schubas in October. I was even more excited today when I went to buy my tickets and I found out that Nervous But Excited is the group opening for them. I love them both. What a concert that should be. I bought 2 tickets so maybe by then i will have convinced one of my friends to be a Girlyman fan.

Turn-Through, square through 4

Had fun at square dancing tonight. I love dancing to Sandie! I had a good time talking to my friend Carri who I don't nearly get to see enough of. I am so happy she is taking Advance with me this fall. I am really looking forward to the class now.
I called my mom tonight to check on my sister Amanda who had surgery today. She is doing well but in a lot of pain. I hope she feels better soon. I wrote my necessary emails and now blogging and then it is off to bed because 5am will be here before I know it. Oh, and I looked at a nice apartment today. It is just north of Devon and off Ashland/Clark. It is a good location and maybe 10 blocks from my job. Still going to keep looking but it is definitely in 1st place right now.

Life

I had a good time dancing last night but things turned bad when the bar closed. Let's just say somehow I ended up alone and drunk with no house keys and no one answering their phone. This situation and other things that have happened recently have made me realize that I am spending way to much time trying to fill my life with new and old friends. Don't get me wrong it is important to have friends and spend time with them but I have been relying on my friends too much to cure my loneliness and it just makes me feel empty inside. So, i guess I have a fear of being alone. Not uncommon but I feel like the only way I maybe able to overcome this fear is to allow myself to experience it.

I have a lot on my plate now outside of friendships. I have to find an apartment. I gave my notice at my place now so I have to be out by Oct. 1. Moving is a big project and definitely will give me a lot to do. I am going to be looking at a lot of apartments this week.
I also have a new business venture that I will be spending time on. Remember yesterday when I met with a former students family? Well, they are starting a new business and they want me to run it. It is a great opportunity but one that will require time outside of my already busy job. It is still in the planning stage so there is still awhile before it gets off the ground. I am feeling very honored to be handpicked by this family. It just goes to show that the impact we make in people's lives will eventually come back to us.
So I have one week before my son comes back and I have a lot to do so pardon me if I don't blog a lot this week.

Yeah! it's Saturday!

Now that it is Saturday I am feeling much better. Going out with a group of friends tonight. We are going to all go dancing at Big Chicks. I don't remember the last time I went out with a group of more than 3 or 4. It should be lots of fun and I love Big Chicks! I hope my foot feels better by tonight. I hurt it the other night when I was playing softball. Didn't realize it at the time but I did when I woke up yesterday morning. I have been limping ever since. I did have a lot of fun playing softball with Kat and the neighborhood kids. It reminded me of how much I miss playing softball. So, my goal is to loose some weight and get in a little better shape over the next year so hopefully I can get on a woman's softball team next summer. That would be lots of fun.

I need to get moving because I am suppose to be at a former student's house in an hour. His family has invited me over this afternoon. I feel very special when my student's contact me. It makes me feel like just maybe I have made a difference in a few children's lives. Hopping in the shower will write about my fun night tomorrow. Happy Saturday everyone!!!

Friday Night sucks

It is Friday night! I'm a childless this weekend. I'm single and yet I am home blogging at 11:00pm. I went to a friends bday party hoping to have some fun which I did for awhile. I thought this party would be a good place to go and I wouldn't have to worry about anyone saying anything about C because nobody there would know her. I was wrong. Come to find out my friend Neddy's roomate is from Reading and actually went to high school with C. Small freakin world. I am exhausted and I am so tired of my life right now. Friday night really suck!

Don't Ask, Don't Tell!

A few weeks ago I watched the movie Soldier's Girl. It was such an emotional movie that left me both heartbroken and mad in the end. The movie is about a young military man who falls in love with a transgender woman. When people in the military find out it leads to an investigation and ultimately his death. It was such a powerful movie. A few days after watching this I was watching the L-word and it was about the military's "don't ask, don't tell policy". In the L-word Tasha(Alice's gf) is being investigated for being in violation of this policy and is actually held back from being deployed to Iraq. Most of us would be grateful for that but she wasn't. She loved being in the military and fighting for her country even though it meant staying in the "closet" in her personal life. I was reminded of this again today when I read an article in the paper about the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

Here's what the policy says:

"Don't ask, don't tell" is the common term for the U.S. military policy which implements Pub.L. 103-160 (10 U.S.C. § 654). Unless one of the numerous exceptions from 10 U.S.C. § 654(b) applies, the policy prohibits anyone who "demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts" from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because it "would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability." The act prohibits any homosexual or bisexual person from disclosing his or her sexual orientation, or from speaking about any homosexual relationships, including marriages or other familial attributes, while serving in the United States armed forces.

So my question is what does being gay or bisexual have anything to do with serving your country? because it "would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability." I think there were some very stupid, homophobic people who wrote this shit. What the hell is the military afraid off? That some gay man is going to hit on some straight dude or that somehow a whole platoons morale is going to be destroyed because a lesbian is amongst them. Is this not America...The land of the free and the home of the brave. These young men and women are putting their lives on the line for their country. The last thing anyone should be worried about is who they prefer to sleep with. So, if your gay and in the military you can't talk about your personal life or you get kicked out but if your straight and in the military you can talk about your family, relationships etc. This kind of shit outrages me! I would like to hear what you all have to say about it. I will definitely be writing more on this later.

State Fair and thoughts

My family and I want to the Iowa State Fair today. It was a very long day that started way to early this morning. I am not the biggest fan of the fair anymore but Jr. loves to go and it is a good outing for the family. We had a good time looking at all the animals, enjoying the food and watching Jr. have a good time on the midway rides. It was a very hot day and the fair was very crowded so we were happy to leave around 4 despite not seeing a lot of the fair. I had a good time with my son and family.

In my down time today I was doing a lot of reflecting on my life. I was thinking a lot about Caitlin today and missing her. I was doing so much better in this area and I think maybe it is just because I am in Iowa. I don't know? I guess I am still uneasy about some things concerning us. I journaled and I wrote an email so I am feeling much better now. Now I just hope a good night sleep is coming my way!

weird dream

I had a very strange dream last night about the ex-gf. Well, i should say i had it early this morning. I woke up at 4:30am from the dream. The dream involved Caitlin and I, her sister, her therapist and doctor and magic potions. I don't think I have ever had a dream with magic potions before! The gist of the dream was that Caitlin still cared for me but was being forced by her therapist and doctor to take magic potion so she would continue to stay out of a relationship with me. Caitlin had managed to get another bottle of potion that would allow her to get back together with me. Meanwhile her sister was spying on us during the whole dream. (of course the kissing made her uncomfortable and she tried to stop us) Caitlin knew she had to make a choice. I woke up right when Caitlin was about to decide which bottle of potion she was going to drink from. I don't know what she chose in the dream but it was just a dream. In reality I know the choice she made.

"the call"

The ex-gf called today. She said she would when she got back from her vacation. Although I didn't think she would call me. I didn't talk to her because she called my house phone in the middle of the day when I was at work. Obviously, she didn't want to talk to me either. So, it has been 3 weeks since we have had any communication with each other. I should have just forgot about it and ignored it but like an idiot I didn't. I decided to text instead of call to see if she had anything to say. Why do I still care what she has to say? I was doing so well and now I am back to caring about how she is feeling. What about me? I don't think she cares how I am feeling so I need to stop. She says she still wants me in her life as a friend. I say I deserve to have friends in my life that love me for me and like my kid. If I am not good enough to be her girlfriend, how am I good enough to be a friend. But Connie said something tonight that I need to remember. She told me to stop trying to define things with Caitlin now. Give it time and it will define its self. I have to stop dwelling on what could have been and my love for Caitlin. I have started to move on with my life without her in it and I need to keep heading down that road.

Busy Weekend

Friday I met a friend I first started talking to two years ago on IM. We have chatted off and on for two years and has always given me good advice. We finally decided to meet. I am so glad we did. She is just as sweet in person as she is online. We met for a drink and then were shortly joined by some friends of hers. We had a great time and her friends invited Jr. and I back to their place for dinner. They are a nice lesbian couple and they have 2 kids. Jr. was excited to go play with kids. We went to their place, had dinner and the kids played while the adults sat outside and talked. It was so relaxing and so nice. I am so excited to have friends near where I want to move to.

Saturday I took Jr. to his dads and then I had a CPR and First Aid class I had to attend for work. It was okay and we got out 1 hour early so that was great. Then I went to Kat's house. She had the place to herself so she invited me over to hang out and watch the L-word. I brought Boonesfarm and we cooked dinner and watched lots of lesbian action.

Today I headed back up to Andersonville and met my friend Leesa, whom I met on Friday, for lunch. We went to Charles Ale House. It was so good. We sat outside and it made me so excited for the upcoming move. I love Andersonville area. It was so nice to sit outside with a friend watching everyone walk by and enjoying the beautiful weather. After lunch we decided to hit up the sidewalk sales going on. We stopped at Alamo Shoes where I got a nice deal on some fancy sandals. (pics to come) We then went to Women and Children first where I bought 4 books and a Regina Spektor CD. I bought Women & Fiction; short stories by and about women, The Dyke &The Dybbuk by Ellen Galford, She's Not There; A life in two genders by Jennifer Finney Boylan and Sisters On The Case; a collection of 20 mystery stories written by todays best known women mystery writers. I was so excited to listen to the Regina Spektor cd and was even more excited when I knew most of the songs on there. After shopping we headed to Kopi Cafe where we had nice refreshing frozen drinks. Leesa had a Mango Freeze and I had a Chai Shake. I really love the Kopi Cafe. Yummy! We then headed back to her place where she proceeded to kick my butt in Scrabble. When the bird flew on to the game board and messed it up I kindly forfeited the game. I was getting beat badly! I had to get going to pick up Jr. anyway. Now I am home and am exhausted. I had a fun filled weekend but tomorrow is Monday and this Chick needs to get some sleep!

doctor appointment

I went to the doctor on Monday. Lost 10 pounds since I was there two months ago. yeah! I love my doctor. She is so nice and she actually wants to get to know her patients. She even remembered I was a lesbian. I love it when she asks we questions about my sex life, although it is non-existent now. It is cute! I had her take a look at my arm and unfortunately the scabs had just came off so there wasn't much to look at. One sore was starting to come back. She seemed a little concerned. She told me to wait a couple of weeks and call the office and come in to get a biopsy done. So if it continues to grow I will get it biopsied and then go from there. That is all the news I have for now. Will let you know when the biopsy happens.

Life is too short!

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

Love the people who treat you right.

Forget about the ones who don't.

Believe everything happens for a reason.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.

If it changes your life, let it.

Nobody said life would be easy.

They just promised it would be worth it.

square dancing

I watched an excellent movie this last weekend called Soldier's girl. I really want to blog about it but right now I am way to tired. So that blog is to come.

Jr. and i got to bed late last night because I went to a square dance. I had a good time at the dance. I had very mixed emotions about going dancing. Caitlin and I usually went to dances together. I knew she wasn't going to be there but i didn't know if I was ready to field the questions like.....Where is Caitlin? Yes, I could just say she is out of state because I know she is but I figured it wouldn't be that easy. Plus, I knew some of her good friends would be at square dancing and I didn't know how they would act in front of me. Well, fortunately only one person asked where she was and after explaining she is out of state and we are no longer together he continued to talk to me and made me feel so good about my decision to go to the dance. Thanks Michael. Also, only one of Caitlin's friends was there and he acted cool to me. It is always awkward staying friends with friends of your ex but I do hope that I can with some of them. I was very happy in the end that I went.

Being dumped!

I decided it was finally time to clue everyone in on my breakup. Over 4th of July weekend Caitlin, Jr and I went on a trip to her grandparents in western PA. It was a good trip and Jr. had a great time. Even as we left we talked about the next trip to the farm and how he was excited the next time he was going to learn how to shoot archery. There was a little incident on the way back that changed the mood in the car. It involved Caitlin getting upset and throwing cookies at Jr. I was shocked and bit upset but soon I just shook it off as something we would talk about later.

So when we got back we dropped Jr off at his dads and went to Caitlin's to spend the night. Got there and kissed for awhile then I ran out to get something to eat and bagels for breakfast. While I was gone Caitlin had been on the phone. She said her mom and aunt said hi and her aunt really liked Jr and said Caitlin should be nicer to him. So it was a good lead in to talking about the incident in the car. She apologized, i told her it happens and I am here to help her with dealing with Jr. I told her she has come a long way. She told me she just doesn't know if she can do it. I reminder her that he is part of the package. He comes with me. She then proceeded to tell me that she doesn't think she can deal with that anymore. That she used the trip to the farm as a test to see how her life would be like with me and my son. She said she couldn't see her life like that. That she couldn't see herself EVER living with a kid. WOW! I was shocked I couldn't believe it. The same kid I have had throughout our relationship and now all of a sudden she can't deal with that. She had been thinking about this and talking to her therapist about it but didn't bother to tell me anything about it. She said she was eventually going to come to my place and tell me but she knew it would be the end for us. I was in shock, i didn't know what to say so i left for some space and air. I mean we had just had a wonderful trip and I was spending the night and everything seemed to be fine. I needed to clear my head. Talked to some friends and went back but she refused to talk with me. Said we had no chance and it was stupid to keep talking about something that wasn't going to change.

Two years, she dumps me and then refuses to really even give me the whole story. We did talk again for closure i guess but all of this doesn't make sense to me so i didn't really have closure. I mean how can things be great one moment and then boom they are over. I think she is really confused. She says she loves me and that is why this is so hard. Whatever, when you love someone you try to make it work. She doesn't. For some reason her answer is to dump me and then think about it. I really hope she gets her shit together. She knows I was a great girlfriend and she is going to miss all the shit I did for her. I made her #1 in my life and this is how she treats me. She says it is over so I am forced to move on. So the last month has been a whirlwind of emotions. I thought she was the one I was going to have a future with. Things were good with us and I thought we loved each other. At least I know I loved her with all my heart. So now it is over and I have to somehow move on without the one person i loved. Although I love her I feel very used. The thing that pisses me off the most is how she used my son. He was innocent in this. He cared for Caitlin a lot and thought she cared for him in return but I guess that is not the case. It is all very sad and troubling!

Nice Ass!

I know it is late but I had such a good evening I wanted to blog about it. Tonight I had a friend come over that I hadn't seen in two years. We dated for a few weeks a couple of years ago. We had kept in touch a little over the past few years but haven't seen each other till tonight. She came over, i cooked dinner, we watched a movie and did lots of talking. I had such a lovely evening. She told me that I looked good. She said I had lost weight but had a rounder ass. Which she thought was pretty fine! It is so nice to be complimented and "hit on" by another woman. It definitely restores some of my self confidence that was damaged when I got dumped.

I'm Moving!

Up until about 3 weeks ago the plan was for me to move to Edgewater or Rogers Park area. It was to be close to the gf and to be closer to my work. Moving is something I have wanted to do for awhile but haven't been financial stable enough to do it. With the new job I knew I would be able to do it by the end of the summer. But as we all know my life has been turned upside down the last few weeks. The future I thought I was going to have changed in a blink of an eye. So, the first thing I did was postpone the move. After doing a lot of thinking about it today at work, because i was so bored by myself, I decided I am still going to move. I need a change and besides I am already tired of the drive. I want to move to Andersonville or possible Edgewater. What single woman doesn't want to live in Andersonville (lesbianville). So the move is back on for September 1st. If anybody knows of any 2 bedrooms available in that area for $900 or less let me know.

skin cancer X2

I have a doctor's appointment on Monday to get my yearly and to also have her look at the sores on my arm. Yes, there are more than one now. They look so weird and the fact that there are now two almost convinces me that it is not something good. At least I stopped picking at them and I have a doctor's appointment. I will let everyone know how it turns out.

Reading Draft!

I am sad that I only have one more reading draft left. It is the best root beer! Since I have no reason to ever visit Reading, PA again I guess I am just going to have to live without my birch beer. I have checked online and they just don't sell it online. So sad :-(

sick

Feeling sick today. Both Neddy (other AD) and I were upset to our stomachs and just feeling yucky today. It didn't help that I woke up at 4:30am because I had a dream about the ex gf and then couldn't get back to sleep. I am doing much better at getting her out of my head but I guess you can't control your dreams.

Jr. started camp today and had a good time. We came home tonight and cooked and then played chess. It is great having him back for this week. My melatonin is starting to kick in so I better head to bed.

Boxers or Briefs

Jr. and I were invited to a bbq today by my new friend Kat. She lives with her sister who has two kids, a 12 and a 7 year old. I was excited to be going to a friends house where there would be other kids around that jr. could play with. Unfortunately, the 7 year old was gone but jr. still had lots of fun playing games. As a group we played Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader which Jr. and I love and then we played Boxers or Briefs. It was a hilarious game. I love playing get to know you games. So along with Apples to Apples and Whoonu I am going to have to add Boxers or Briefs to my list of favorite party games.

Friday Night

Went to the Vic tonight with a new friend. I had no idea that they showed movies there. It was really neat. We saw two movies for only $5 and we could drink alcohol at the say time. The drinks were very reasonably priced too. It's called the Brew and View. We saw Baby Mama which was pretty funny. Then we saw The Happening. I'm not sure what I thought of this movie. Eerie and weird, a little scary in parts. Left me with a lot of unanswered questions. I really wanted to like it but I just couldn't get into it. It was nice to get out but unfortunately both movies took place in PA which just brought back to many painful memories.

Everyone Poops!

As I was walking through work today I saw this book standing up on the table in one of the classrooms. Everyone Poops. It caught my eye so about the 4th time I walked by it today I grabbed it and took it back to the office to read. It was hilarious! A little disturbing but funny! I definitely recommend taking a look at it.

Almost passing out

Even when one is really depressed they should eat and sleep. I have had trouble doing both. Sure I've dropped 10 pounds in the last week but my body is really messed up right now. I had to learn the hard way tonight. I almost passed out at the store tonight. I had to open a package of granola bars right there at the store in hopes it would give my body enough instant nutrition. That sort of scared me a little. I am going to end up in the hospital if I don't start eating and sleeping. I am off to bed now. Hopefully i will sleep.

What could have been......

I wanted you in my future,
Now the future is too hard to look at.

You could have been my everything but
Now you're nothing but a painful memory of the love we had.

I could have made you happy but
I guess my love wasn't enough.

My heart is breaking,
Life is too short for such heartache.

Can I get some sleep?

I am so frustrated about many things right now but the most may be my inability to sleep. And what the hell is waking up at 4am and not being able to get back to sleep all about. I am mentally and physically exhausted. Any suggestions?

Skin Cancer???

So, I have had this spot on my arm for a couple of weeks. No big deal except it is the same arm I had a severe sunburn on last year. I can't seem to leave it alone. I have this nervous habit of picking at things. I keep picking it off and it scabs over and then I pick it again. i finally called the doctor today and the nurse thought it would be best to make an appointment just in case. I knew what she meant? My doctor appointment isn't for two more weeks. I hope in that time it goes away and then i won't have any worries.

The Future!

When I woke up this morning the topic of the future was on my mind. Here is what the dictionary says future means: fu·ture (fychr)n.1. The indefinite time yet to come: Indefinite. That words is what is so complicated about the future. No one knows what is to come.

I have actually been thinking a lot about my future in the last couple of months. Trying to figure out what I want or trying to imagine what my future would be like and it just gives me a headache. So I have developed the philosophy of living in the now. The last few years have made me develop this philosophy.

If one would have asked me what I thought my future would have looked like 8 years ago. I would have said I would be happily married to my husband and have a wonderful family and a job I love. Well, we know that didn't happen. I hated my job, my marriage fell apart, etc. I take a look at the events of the past few years. divorce, coming out as a lesbian, 3 different jobs, lots of financial hardship, friends leaving, new relationships. Things I never imagined in my future but they happened. So often people think they control their future. To a point but unfortunately others can definitely impact the future too. So, what is in my future. I don't know and thinking about it isn't going to make it come true. What is important is to do what makes you happy. Life is to short to be miserable. So, i will do what makes me happy today and keep doing that.

Off to the movies!

Going to the drive-in. Hopefully I can stay awake!

Gay Marriage and focus on the family

Everyone should check out this article from the Utne Reader. I am not sure if marriage is something I will ever want again but i do see myself in a relationship in the future and I feel i should have rights whether i am married, living together or apart. I am an advocate for all types of families and relationships. Why should just married couples get benefits. Society is made up of many different "families". I feel it is unfair that society throws marriage at us as the only option whether straight or gay. Here is a little bit from the article but i suggest reading it all.

I propose family law reform that would recognize all families’ worth. Marriage as a family form is not more important or more valuable than other forms of family, so the law should not give it more value. Couples should have the choice to marry based on the spiritual, cultural, or religious meaning of marriage in their lives; they should never have to marry to reap specific and unique legal benefits. I support the right to marry for same-sex couples as a matter of civil rights law. But I oppose discrimination against couples who do not marry, and I advocate solutions to the needs all families have for economic well-being, legal recognition, emotional peace of mind, and community respect.

I'm back!

I have returned to the world of blogging! I promise to blog more. I have really missed it. Updates to come!

Sleep

I wish I could sleep. I've been up for 22 hours. I've gotten less than 20 hours of sleep since last Sunday night. I just want to sleep!

When Love isn't enough!

Breaking up really sucks. Especially when you have no say in it. When you give everything of yourself to someone and now you just feel so empty inside. When you loved more than you ever loved before just to have your heart shattered on to the floor. What did I do wrong I keep asking myself? Nothing! I guess love just isn't enough!

Exhausted!

I just started my new job today. It seems like it is going to work out ok but wow am I exhausted. Those 4 and 5 year olds completely wore me out! It is off to bed early for me tonight.

weekend in iowa

i made it back from my extended weekend in iowa. I had a nice relaxing time. Jr. celebrated his birthday at Recess, Go Banana's. He had a bit of a rough time there. He fell and twisted his ankle and then he got his tooth knocked out. It was rough but i think he still managed to have a good time. We spent a lot of time playing games the rest of the weekend. We played the dvd versions of Are you smarter than a fifth grader and scene it jr. My best friend from high school came over sunday night so we played Hand and Foot. The weather really sucked so it was good we had lots of games to play. Under the the several inches of snow on the ground was an inch or so of ice. this posponed my trip back to chicago by a day. I am so glad i waited till today to come back. In a 70 mile stretch from my parents house to close to the illinois/iowa state line we passed 167 car/trucks in the ditch. it was crazy. most had just slid into the ditch but some went for a crazy ride down embankments and some even flipped over. I was so thankful that i stayed at my parents cozy house an extra day.

busy week

I want to start with last weekend. Last friday was my actual birthday. It was a pretty good day. It got even better when i got to Sexy's. She had made me a birthday dinner. It was delicious. You can check out pics on my flickr site. We had a nice relaxing weekend. For more details you can check out sexy's blog. It was exactly what we needed heading into to v-day week.

Tuesday was Jr.s birthday. He had a friend spend the night the night before and then i took him and two of his friends to chuck e cheese for his birthday. He had a great time. Jr then went to his dads and i went to work at the flower shop. I said i would work tuesday and wednesday night and then deliver on thursday. And that is exactly what i did. I had a good time working at the flower shop. I had a good time last year and i was excited to do it again this year. Yesterday was vday and i delivered flowers from 10am till 6pm. The day went smooth on my end and it seemed to go well in the flowershop. I knew sexy was exhausted since she had been working 14 hour days so i took her home and gave her the valentine i made for her and then gave her a foot and back massage. Since I am going to iowa this weekend she will have the whole weekend to relax and get caught up on sleep. Hope everyone had a nice vday.

Fabulous birthday weekend!.....day 3

On Sunday we got up, did yoga and packed. We checked out of our hotel by noon and headed for the Milwaukee public market. The market was a nice place. I first got some coffee because i was cold and in desperate need of caffeine. After i had my delicious coffee in hand we took a look around the place and then decided what we wanted to eat. I decided to have a hawaiian sandwich and caitlin had some bean salad, an eggplant appitizer and some middle eastern food. After we ate our food we were craving some chocolate and there just happened to be a chocalate store downstairs. We got a rum bar, some tangerine bites, a peanutbutter ball, and a few more really tasty chocolates. Once we sat and digested for a few minutes we buddled up and we ended up walking all the way to the art museum. The art museum was fabulous. We walked through according to time periods. Sexy, was answering all my questions i had about art. I learned so much and i felt like i had my own personal tour guide. We stayed till closing but missed the wings closing on top while we were getting our stuff down stairs. We then hopped on a bus and ended up eating at a little pub near where our bus was leaving from. We had a drink and a few appitizers and then set off to catch our bus back to Chicago. We got to the bus stop just as the bus pulled up and headed back to chicago. On the bus ride back we knit for a little while and listened to a podcast. Then we had a brownie type bar. We cuddled for the rest of the trip. I kept thinking as we were cuddling about the great weekend I had. Sexy asked me what my favorite part was and it was hard to come up with one because I loved all of it. It was very thoughtful and it meant a lot to me. I have a great girlfriend. Thanks sexy!

weekend...part 2

Saturday we got up did yoga, took a shower and then headed out for our day. Our first stop was at the Pabst mansion. It was a beautiful mansion and we had our own personal tour guide going through the mansion. I really love seeing historical buildings. I am really glad it was one of our stops on the trip. Next we went to this little diner for lunch called Miss Katies and to meet Caitlin's friend Jen. The diner was ok. I have seen better ones and the food was not that good in my opinion. The onion loaf was good and I don't think Jen or Caitlin had had anything like it before. My hot turkey sandwich was not that tasty and dry. Jen and sexy seemed to like their food so maybe i just chose the wrong thing to eat. It was great talking with Jen and seeing her again. After lunch she drove sexy and I to the Milwaukee Public museum. After waiting in a long line to buy tickets we thought we were going to have an hour to rush through the museum but to our suprise the museum was going to stay open till 9 instead of 5 because of the body worlds exhibit. So, we planned what exhibits we wanted to see and started. We saw a lot at the museum and after 3 hours we were ready to move onto something else. Now it was time for my birthday dinner. Caitlin was taking me to a nice Indian restuarant. It was called Dancing Ganesha. Unfortunately, when we got there it wasn't there, but luckily there were other restuarants around. There just happened to be an indian restuarant right near there so i decided to go there. What a good choice that was. It was delicious. We ordered samosas and then we got the vegetarian dinner for two. I loved the veggie fried dumplings and the Chana Masala. Even the dessert was good, which rarely is at most of the indian restaurants we have been too. We were stuffed and we even had lots of food left over. It was way more food than two people could eat. We were stuffed and we headed back to the hotel. After relaxing for a few minutes we headed out the the Safe House. It is a spy themed "safe house" bar for spys. It wasn't hard to find but getting in was a bit more difficult. We didn't know the password so we instead had to sing "I'm a little teapot" in front of everyone in the whole place. once inside we walked around trying to find a place to sit. There were a lot of spys inside. We found a table and sat down and had a couple of spy drinks. We took sometime looking at all the neat spy stuff around. Then after walking around for a few minutes we found the exit. It was a nice themed bar but the drinks were a little pricey.....good but pricey! It was a neat experience and I would definitely take some friends there. We had a fun filled day.

Fabulous birthday weekend!

First, I want to tell you about my wonderful weekend i had last weekend. I was given a box to open on Friday. Inside was a backpack and a list of all the things i needed to include in it. I was told to meet my sexy girlfriend downtown at 5pm. with my backpack. We started walking and when we crossed the street i was told we were getting on a bus. The bus was going to Milwaukee. I had never been to Milwaukee and honestly I had no idea what was there but I was excited to be going somewhere with sexy. We worked on crosswords and talked on the trip there. Caitlin handed me a packet with the weekend planned out. I couldn't wait. We got to Milwaukee and found our hotel. We checked into our small cozy room and then headed out to dinner. We went to the bus stop to wait for the number 10 or 30 bus. unfortunately we were at the wrong bus stop but the very nice bus lady from the 26 bus stopped and gave us a ride up 2 blocks to where the 10 and 30 stop. We made it to the nice irish pub that we were having dinner at. It was nice food and then we stayed and listen to the band that played at 10:30. We had a few drinks and decided to leave when the creapy, drunk old guy started getting to close to my girlfriend. I am not really a violent person but i think i could have taken him! We got back to our hotel room did yoga and then jumped into bed. It was a late night but it was a good one and we did sleep in some the next day.

to be continued....

Such a long time

I was so nicely informed today that it has been two months since i blogged so i promise i will blog today. Lots has happened since then. Spent Christmas in PA but that was such a long time ago. It is now February so i will blog about recent activities in my life. I will blog soon about new year resolutions, my wonderful birthday weekend and other exciting things in my life. All is coming soon.