IOWA

Thought I would blog now since i will be heading to Iowa in the morning. My dad has been in the hospital and since I have Jr. this weekend I thought Iowa would be a good place to go. It is always nice to see my family. Right now sexy and I are at a weird place so it also seems like a good time to take a break from my crazy life in Chicago. Sexy and I talked on AIM last night and she is still really angry at me....which I understand. HELL i am angry at myself so I can only imagine how angry she is at me. I am realizing now how much she tried to help me this last year and I didn't listen. Do i ever regret that now! I made the stupidest mistake of my life! I guess it took something this awful for me to wake up and realize i need to make some serious changes. I think many positives will come out of this situation and are already coming out of it. Unfortunately, it may cost me Sexy. Right now she is trying to figure out if she wants to be with me or not. Things have definitely been better and we have been spending more time together but she still has serious doubts. So, right now I am in a waiting game. Waiting to see if she is willing to give us another shot or if it is over with us.