Smoothies....YUMMY!!!

What a day it has been. Today was super crazy at work. By far the most busiest day. I think I am handling being in charge of the office, while my boss is recovering, pretty well. After work my sister met me and we then went to Alamo shoes so she could get a nice pair of gym shoes. She found a really nice pair that she liked and then it was off to pick up Jr. from camp and then head to Chinatown. We had decided we would go to Chinatown for dinner and then look around. We ate at Joy Yee Noodle. It was really good. I had been there before so decided to try it again. My sister had the Mango Chicken Fried Rice and Jr and I shared the Shrimp Lo Mein. We of course had smoothies. I had a Strawberry Pinapple with tapioca which Jr. drank most of. That is what I get for sharing with a 7 year old. It was all really good and i have leftovers for tomorrow's lunch.

Yesterday's bbq went well. My friends and their kids all seemed to have a good time. My new girl (which I will give her a name soon) wasn't able to make it because she hurt her back packing for her big move. It was lots of fun and something I should do more often. Well, I am exhausted. You know that is the case when I have run out of things to say!

I Kissed A Girl and I liked It!!!

she didn't taste like cherry chapstick

the date went great. (details later)

I just got back into town with my son and my sister and I am off to a business meeting and then off to Kat and Kim's for games and wine. Having a bbq tomorrow with some friends and my new girl and all their kids. Busy weekend!

Staying busy

Things have been really crazy at work this week. The executive director has been out of the office and will be for the next couple of weeks. So that leaves Neddy and I running things. With new enrollments and the school year starting next week it is crazy busy.

It has been nice to go home after work and just chill for awhile. I am feeling very accomplished this week. I have spent some quality time with myself this week. I am feeling so good about things in my life right now. Looking forward to my son coming back, moving and the future. And I have a date tonight!

I also bought my Girlyman tickets today. I was so excited to hear that they would be playing at Schubas in October. I was even more excited today when I went to buy my tickets and I found out that Nervous But Excited is the group opening for them. I love them both. What a concert that should be. I bought 2 tickets so maybe by then i will have convinced one of my friends to be a Girlyman fan.

Turn-Through, square through 4

Had fun at square dancing tonight. I love dancing to Sandie! I had a good time talking to my friend Carri who I don't nearly get to see enough of. I am so happy she is taking Advance with me this fall. I am really looking forward to the class now.
I called my mom tonight to check on my sister Amanda who had surgery today. She is doing well but in a lot of pain. I hope she feels better soon. I wrote my necessary emails and now blogging and then it is off to bed because 5am will be here before I know it. Oh, and I looked at a nice apartment today. It is just north of Devon and off Ashland/Clark. It is a good location and maybe 10 blocks from my job. Still going to keep looking but it is definitely in 1st place right now.

Life

I had a good time dancing last night but things turned bad when the bar closed. Let's just say somehow I ended up alone and drunk with no house keys and no one answering their phone. This situation and other things that have happened recently have made me realize that I am spending way to much time trying to fill my life with new and old friends. Don't get me wrong it is important to have friends and spend time with them but I have been relying on my friends too much to cure my loneliness and it just makes me feel empty inside. So, i guess I have a fear of being alone. Not uncommon but I feel like the only way I maybe able to overcome this fear is to allow myself to experience it.

I have a lot on my plate now outside of friendships. I have to find an apartment. I gave my notice at my place now so I have to be out by Oct. 1. Moving is a big project and definitely will give me a lot to do. I am going to be looking at a lot of apartments this week.
I also have a new business venture that I will be spending time on. Remember yesterday when I met with a former students family? Well, they are starting a new business and they want me to run it. It is a great opportunity but one that will require time outside of my already busy job. It is still in the planning stage so there is still awhile before it gets off the ground. I am feeling very honored to be handpicked by this family. It just goes to show that the impact we make in people's lives will eventually come back to us.
So I have one week before my son comes back and I have a lot to do so pardon me if I don't blog a lot this week.

Yeah! it's Saturday!

Now that it is Saturday I am feeling much better. Going out with a group of friends tonight. We are going to all go dancing at Big Chicks. I don't remember the last time I went out with a group of more than 3 or 4. It should be lots of fun and I love Big Chicks! I hope my foot feels better by tonight. I hurt it the other night when I was playing softball. Didn't realize it at the time but I did when I woke up yesterday morning. I have been limping ever since. I did have a lot of fun playing softball with Kat and the neighborhood kids. It reminded me of how much I miss playing softball. So, my goal is to loose some weight and get in a little better shape over the next year so hopefully I can get on a woman's softball team next summer. That would be lots of fun.

I need to get moving because I am suppose to be at a former student's house in an hour. His family has invited me over this afternoon. I feel very special when my student's contact me. It makes me feel like just maybe I have made a difference in a few children's lives. Hopping in the shower will write about my fun night tomorrow. Happy Saturday everyone!!!

Friday Night sucks

It is Friday night! I'm a childless this weekend. I'm single and yet I am home blogging at 11:00pm. I went to a friends bday party hoping to have some fun which I did for awhile. I thought this party would be a good place to go and I wouldn't have to worry about anyone saying anything about C because nobody there would know her. I was wrong. Come to find out my friend Neddy's roomate is from Reading and actually went to high school with C. Small freakin world. I am exhausted and I am so tired of my life right now. Friday night really suck!

Don't Ask, Don't Tell!

A few weeks ago I watched the movie Soldier's Girl. It was such an emotional movie that left me both heartbroken and mad in the end. The movie is about a young military man who falls in love with a transgender woman. When people in the military find out it leads to an investigation and ultimately his death. It was such a powerful movie. A few days after watching this I was watching the L-word and it was about the military's "don't ask, don't tell policy". In the L-word Tasha(Alice's gf) is being investigated for being in violation of this policy and is actually held back from being deployed to Iraq. Most of us would be grateful for that but she wasn't. She loved being in the military and fighting for her country even though it meant staying in the "closet" in her personal life. I was reminded of this again today when I read an article in the paper about the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

Here's what the policy says:

"Don't ask, don't tell" is the common term for the U.S. military policy which implements Pub.L. 103-160 (10 U.S.C. § 654). Unless one of the numerous exceptions from 10 U.S.C. § 654(b) applies, the policy prohibits anyone who "demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts" from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because it "would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability." The act prohibits any homosexual or bisexual person from disclosing his or her sexual orientation, or from speaking about any homosexual relationships, including marriages or other familial attributes, while serving in the United States armed forces.

So my question is what does being gay or bisexual have anything to do with serving your country? because it "would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability." I think there were some very stupid, homophobic people who wrote this shit. What the hell is the military afraid off? That some gay man is going to hit on some straight dude or that somehow a whole platoons morale is going to be destroyed because a lesbian is amongst them. Is this not America...The land of the free and the home of the brave. These young men and women are putting their lives on the line for their country. The last thing anyone should be worried about is who they prefer to sleep with. So, if your gay and in the military you can't talk about your personal life or you get kicked out but if your straight and in the military you can talk about your family, relationships etc. This kind of shit outrages me! I would like to hear what you all have to say about it. I will definitely be writing more on this later.

State Fair and thoughts

My family and I want to the Iowa State Fair today. It was a very long day that started way to early this morning. I am not the biggest fan of the fair anymore but Jr. loves to go and it is a good outing for the family. We had a good time looking at all the animals, enjoying the food and watching Jr. have a good time on the midway rides. It was a very hot day and the fair was very crowded so we were happy to leave around 4 despite not seeing a lot of the fair. I had a good time with my son and family.

In my down time today I was doing a lot of reflecting on my life. I was thinking a lot about Caitlin today and missing her. I was doing so much better in this area and I think maybe it is just because I am in Iowa. I don't know? I guess I am still uneasy about some things concerning us. I journaled and I wrote an email so I am feeling much better now. Now I just hope a good night sleep is coming my way!

weird dream

I had a very strange dream last night about the ex-gf. Well, i should say i had it early this morning. I woke up at 4:30am from the dream. The dream involved Caitlin and I, her sister, her therapist and doctor and magic potions. I don't think I have ever had a dream with magic potions before! The gist of the dream was that Caitlin still cared for me but was being forced by her therapist and doctor to take magic potion so she would continue to stay out of a relationship with me. Caitlin had managed to get another bottle of potion that would allow her to get back together with me. Meanwhile her sister was spying on us during the whole dream. (of course the kissing made her uncomfortable and she tried to stop us) Caitlin knew she had to make a choice. I woke up right when Caitlin was about to decide which bottle of potion she was going to drink from. I don't know what she chose in the dream but it was just a dream. In reality I know the choice she made.

"the call"

The ex-gf called today. She said she would when she got back from her vacation. Although I didn't think she would call me. I didn't talk to her because she called my house phone in the middle of the day when I was at work. Obviously, she didn't want to talk to me either. So, it has been 3 weeks since we have had any communication with each other. I should have just forgot about it and ignored it but like an idiot I didn't. I decided to text instead of call to see if she had anything to say. Why do I still care what she has to say? I was doing so well and now I am back to caring about how she is feeling. What about me? I don't think she cares how I am feeling so I need to stop. She says she still wants me in her life as a friend. I say I deserve to have friends in my life that love me for me and like my kid. If I am not good enough to be her girlfriend, how am I good enough to be a friend. But Connie said something tonight that I need to remember. She told me to stop trying to define things with Caitlin now. Give it time and it will define its self. I have to stop dwelling on what could have been and my love for Caitlin. I have started to move on with my life without her in it and I need to keep heading down that road.

Busy Weekend

Friday I met a friend I first started talking to two years ago on IM. We have chatted off and on for two years and has always given me good advice. We finally decided to meet. I am so glad we did. She is just as sweet in person as she is online. We met for a drink and then were shortly joined by some friends of hers. We had a great time and her friends invited Jr. and I back to their place for dinner. They are a nice lesbian couple and they have 2 kids. Jr. was excited to go play with kids. We went to their place, had dinner and the kids played while the adults sat outside and talked. It was so relaxing and so nice. I am so excited to have friends near where I want to move to.

Saturday I took Jr. to his dads and then I had a CPR and First Aid class I had to attend for work. It was okay and we got out 1 hour early so that was great. Then I went to Kat's house. She had the place to herself so she invited me over to hang out and watch the L-word. I brought Boonesfarm and we cooked dinner and watched lots of lesbian action.

Today I headed back up to Andersonville and met my friend Leesa, whom I met on Friday, for lunch. We went to Charles Ale House. It was so good. We sat outside and it made me so excited for the upcoming move. I love Andersonville area. It was so nice to sit outside with a friend watching everyone walk by and enjoying the beautiful weather. After lunch we decided to hit up the sidewalk sales going on. We stopped at Alamo Shoes where I got a nice deal on some fancy sandals. (pics to come) We then went to Women and Children first where I bought 4 books and a Regina Spektor CD. I bought Women & Fiction; short stories by and about women, The Dyke &The Dybbuk by Ellen Galford, She's Not There; A life in two genders by Jennifer Finney Boylan and Sisters On The Case; a collection of 20 mystery stories written by todays best known women mystery writers. I was so excited to listen to the Regina Spektor cd and was even more excited when I knew most of the songs on there. After shopping we headed to Kopi Cafe where we had nice refreshing frozen drinks. Leesa had a Mango Freeze and I had a Chai Shake. I really love the Kopi Cafe. Yummy! We then headed back to her place where she proceeded to kick my butt in Scrabble. When the bird flew on to the game board and messed it up I kindly forfeited the game. I was getting beat badly! I had to get going to pick up Jr. anyway. Now I am home and am exhausted. I had a fun filled weekend but tomorrow is Monday and this Chick needs to get some sleep!