Random thoughts!

I just got back from picking up my son. I have missed him a lot. Only have him for the weekend and then he is off to his dads for a month. We have a lot planned. We are going to eat dinner and then go for a bike ride. Tomorrow is packed with the Children's museum and then square dancing and then dinner. Sunday maybe the Taste but Jr. really wants to ride bikes with Caitlin. Don't know how she will feel about that. ??? Did a lot of thinking as I traveled today. Hours in my car jamming to the Indigo girls and thinking about life. I guess I am really questioning things in my life. My career, my relationship, where i live.

My career! As i am spending a lot of time looking for jobs , I am realizing that there are more things I would like to do in life then just teach. But right now that is what I know to do. I think I will give myself 1 or maybe 2 more years and then see if I am ready to do something different. I have dreams....now I just have to line everything up so they can come true.

My relationship! I guess maybe it took something big in my relationship (my fault big)to realize that it wasn't as strong as I thought. I think that maybe sometimes when you love someone you can become reckless. (but sometimes that is love) I fell for sexy hard and wanted to love her the best I could and with all I could. In the end, if it is not returned there is not much that can be done about it. As much as I love her and want to be with her I can't if she doesn't want to be with me. ( I am sure i will write more on this later)

Where I live! Why is it everyone thinks I should move??? My parents want me back in Iowa, my ex wants me to move to Champaign, friends want me to live closer. What do I want? That is a good question! Well, knowing me I am tough and stubborn and have a tendency not to listen to others so I will probably stay right here!!!