Being dumped!

I decided it was finally time to clue everyone in on my breakup. Over 4th of July weekend Caitlin, Jr and I went on a trip to her grandparents in western PA. It was a good trip and Jr. had a great time. Even as we left we talked about the next trip to the farm and how he was excited the next time he was going to learn how to shoot archery. There was a little incident on the way back that changed the mood in the car. It involved Caitlin getting upset and throwing cookies at Jr. I was shocked and bit upset but soon I just shook it off as something we would talk about later.

So when we got back we dropped Jr off at his dads and went to Caitlin's to spend the night. Got there and kissed for awhile then I ran out to get something to eat and bagels for breakfast. While I was gone Caitlin had been on the phone. She said her mom and aunt said hi and her aunt really liked Jr and said Caitlin should be nicer to him. So it was a good lead in to talking about the incident in the car. She apologized, i told her it happens and I am here to help her with dealing with Jr. I told her she has come a long way. She told me she just doesn't know if she can do it. I reminder her that he is part of the package. He comes with me. She then proceeded to tell me that she doesn't think she can deal with that anymore. That she used the trip to the farm as a test to see how her life would be like with me and my son. She said she couldn't see her life like that. That she couldn't see herself EVER living with a kid. WOW! I was shocked I couldn't believe it. The same kid I have had throughout our relationship and now all of a sudden she can't deal with that. She had been thinking about this and talking to her therapist about it but didn't bother to tell me anything about it. She said she was eventually going to come to my place and tell me but she knew it would be the end for us. I was in shock, i didn't know what to say so i left for some space and air. I mean we had just had a wonderful trip and I was spending the night and everything seemed to be fine. I needed to clear my head. Talked to some friends and went back but she refused to talk with me. Said we had no chance and it was stupid to keep talking about something that wasn't going to change.

Two years, she dumps me and then refuses to really even give me the whole story. We did talk again for closure i guess but all of this doesn't make sense to me so i didn't really have closure. I mean how can things be great one moment and then boom they are over. I think she is really confused. She says she loves me and that is why this is so hard. Whatever, when you love someone you try to make it work. She doesn't. For some reason her answer is to dump me and then think about it. I really hope she gets her shit together. She knows I was a great girlfriend and she is going to miss all the shit I did for her. I made her #1 in my life and this is how she treats me. She says it is over so I am forced to move on. So the last month has been a whirlwind of emotions. I thought she was the one I was going to have a future with. Things were good with us and I thought we loved each other. At least I know I loved her with all my heart. So now it is over and I have to somehow move on without the one person i loved. Although I love her I feel very used. The thing that pisses me off the most is how she used my son. He was innocent in this. He cared for Caitlin a lot and thought she cared for him in return but I guess that is not the case. It is all very sad and troubling!